His hands were made for my vagina.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
