Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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