Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize