Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
