I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
my shit smells like andre
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
