I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Did we literally take a cab across the street
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize