y did u give ur computer a hand job?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
