he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize