we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize