Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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