Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize