i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I wanna passion pit in your ass
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Randomize