is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Congratulations! We have a period
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
