last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
