She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
