I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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