Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
