i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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