Got a toothbrush?
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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