Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
