she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize