The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
