ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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