ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
We talked him into tasing himself.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
