I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
