Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
