i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I think I just sharted jello shots
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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