She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
it's great music for shaving your balls
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
