wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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