WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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