hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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