I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
