i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
