she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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