I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
