Don't you send me to vm
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
