Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize