When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
