More tranny stories later!
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
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