On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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