Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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