Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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