let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
