we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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