Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize