My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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