a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
