and you said cock pushups were impossible
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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