You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
and she was petting her beer can
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
