I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Come on in and take your pants off
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