so that wasnt chicken after all
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
