he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize