Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
