So drunk, too bad you don't want this
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
