I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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