It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
