I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Let's get the cat blown out
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
