This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
