everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
