when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
