all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
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