I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
