Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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