I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
