Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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