party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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