I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
