At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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