i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
