Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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