I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
