I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
even my farts smell like vagina
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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