no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
