How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I just found a bag of teeth...
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
