Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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